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Hello, my name is Gingy, the Gingerbreadman. Many of you will know me if you’ve seen my great pal’s show. Yeah, you will know him as Shrek. I’ve been known by many previously before too. When I was young, I used to be the fastest runner on earth after the cheetah. The baker who made me tried to catch me but failed. I was even able to outrun his Harley and his wife’s Poshe.
Anyway, that was the past. Let me tell you about myself now. My great and wonderful life as a world runner recently came to an end. This Christmas, I was somehow caught and was kept in a foodbag and set on display at a shopping mall. Oh, how I wish I could be set free and run off to my home. Oh, how I miss home so much. But I should have known better as they say, “be careful what you wish for”. I thought it was freedom when the bag was opened. I tried to run but my legs were paralysed. Out came this great hideous hand coming to grab me.
Oh no!!! Now I wished I’m back in the bag on the display shelf. My legs were first broken because the hideous giant, (who looks worse than Shrek [I love you, Shrek] ) thought that I would run away. For goodness sake, I can’t run. My legs were paralysed when I was put into the bag. He wouldn’t listen to me. And as if that weren’t enough, he had to break my arms too. ARGGGHHH!!! He’s the meanest, cruelest ogre I’ve ever met. (I still love you, Shrek).
And I thought that was the end. Oh, please spare me from further torture. I thought that after this, he would let me go. But nooo….. He said that he would crush my bones to make his bread and his soup. He has this hysterical laugh which made my skin grow cold. Out came his dark, cold hands. With all the evilness he can gather, he broke off my shapely body. ARRRGGHHHHH!!!!! I had ginger crumbs falling left, right and center and all over. Ginger crumbs here, ginger crumbs there. Oh, the painfulness. ARRGGHHH!!!!! What’s left is my head. But what can I do with just my head? A big round head.
I couldn’t defend myself. I couldn’t protest anymore. My strength sapped out of me. I feel so cold. I feel so…..I’m dead.
In my vague conciousness, I could see where the rest of my body went. My head was lowered into this big and deep bowl filled with some ogre goo. From inside the bowl, I could see the ogre smilling with the most “keji-ness” smile that any ogre has. “Run, run, run, you can never catch the gingerbreadman”, he laughed hysterically. “There’s no more gingerbreadman, there’s only gingerbread SOUP. Muahahahahaha!!!!!” He roared as I felt my vision getting blurer and the sounds around me becoming very faint.
My life as THE Gingerbreadman ended up as gingerbread soup. As my spirit rose up from my soggy floating body in the gingerbread SOUP, I could see the ogre serving the remains of what I was to a hungry patron. Without any hesitation, the patron swallowed me down with one gulp. And oh, how I hated that satisfied look on her face.
Oh well, at least I brought satisfaction to at least one being in my life. This is then my autobiography, Gingy, the Gingerbreadman.
*Copyright of Linkon Long*
*Edited by Laney*
